Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
