I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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