dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
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Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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