yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Found your dick twin last night
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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