I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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