i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
