you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's Friday. Sex?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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