I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
