i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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