Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
