Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
why is half of my head shaved?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
