i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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