your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
