I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
