apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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