Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
