I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bring me that man meat
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
