And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
