you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
