Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
