Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
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I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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