I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
pop tarts are not kleenex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
