Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
