too bad you live with your parents still
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Buhtt sex?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
