He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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