if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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