im drinking this country out of the recession.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
