i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
