sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
