HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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