We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
