So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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