she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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