I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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