i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize