hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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