Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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