Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
