OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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