Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize