tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
