none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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