his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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