Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
