found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
