Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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