I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize