using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
