She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
