Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
