do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
