maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
