you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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