Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

(1-905): View more from Toronto

i totally said that

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(714): View more from California

dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.

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(913): View more from Kansas

girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

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(850): View more from Florida

I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend

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(409): View more from Texas

The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...

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