remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
