Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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