Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
