bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
