shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
