im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Drake has all the answers
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
