i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
