is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
