Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
